Building Momentum
"The real energy to push forward comes from when you realize that there will always be an opposing force."
Last week, I was ecstatic to find not one but two messages on my blog post. In each instance, it was about the inherently positive subject matter. Not only did I enjoy the engagement, but I liked that the content was uplifting in a way that my other posts (perhaps) weren't. Mental health is, in my opinion, a serious subject, and I have largely approached it as such. However, while it will always be a thread that runs through this blog, I'm glad for moments of positivity and even levity. I aim to increase positivity as this journey progresses, and I believe the subject of this blog post will help me achieve that goal.
"Sometimes it can feel like two parts of yourself are yearning for different things. One part of you knows exactly what would be best for you in the long term. But another part of you can't bear the thought of starting today. So you don't."
"When You're Short On Willpower"
This is the title of Chapter 18 of Dr Julie Smith's book, Open When, and it focuses on overcoming the obstacles that hold you back from achieving your goals. Willpower is something that I have always struggled with. I've addressed this from time to time on my blogging journey and especially in reference to New Year's resolutions. I've thought frequently that I'd be better off mentally, physically and spiritually if I just had better willpower.
Mel Robbins has some thoughts on motivation that are somewhat different to what I've come to know, understand and read about in the self-help motivational space. The best-selling author appeared on The Pivot, where she emphasised that relying on motivation to take action is unpredictable. It's rare to "feel like it" when it's crucial, she says. The motivational speaker contends that significant change stems from making a decision and then taking action — even in the absence of motivation. However, she does advocate for planning ahead for moments when your willpower might be diminished. For instance, set out your workout clothes the night before, prepare water bottles, and set reminders. By making decisions ahead of time (when you're in a better frame of mind), you can help prevent lapses in resolve. I opted to include this reference to Mel Robbins because the latter part of her stance on motivation mirrors that of Dr Julie Smith.
"Predict Your Failure"
"For those in treatment for addictions, a significant amount of time is spent on relapse prevention. This means planning for the worst days, anticipating all the potential hurdles and creating a detailed, concrete plan to tackle each one. Without doing this early on, you leave your future in the hands of your impulses."
This quote really hit hard because I find that I live most of my life from one addictive impulse to another. Whether it's binge eating, indulging in unhealthy food, a compulsive attachment to my phone, not exercising, or engaging in overthinking that either involves ruminating on the past or catastrophising the future - I am an addict and I need help.
I feel like this year has been made up of a lot of 'two steps forward/one step back'. In some aspects of life, I feel like I've progressed, while in others, I have to admit to a degree of regression. Not a small degree either - but a 'back-to-square-one' kind of regression. I would have to write several blogs to cover the addictions I listed in the previous paragraph, but in the interest of brevity, I'll focus on going to the gym.
I joined a gym a few months ago, and I've only been once. It is both shameful and a waste of money. I think about going almost every day, but my addiction to comfort wins all the time. Whether it's my bed or the couch, that plush comfort is difficult to relinquish in favour of a treadmill or an elliptical. I once trained to do a 5km run in twelve weeks. I went to the gym religiously and did it. In week thirteen, I hurt my knee (not severely), and it derailed me - I slinked straight back to zero exercise, and my efforts since then have been little to none. Day in and day out, I've let exercise fall to the bottom of my priority list. I first heard the Benjamin Franklin quote, "If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail" from my brother, Raoul who is very wise and I thought about this quote while reading Dr Smith's chapter on motivation. The author explains that the challenge doesn't lie in the task itself, but rather in the transition from inactivity to action (Mel Robbins' The 5 Second Rule deals with this, too). She notes that once momentum is established, willpower seems less essential. However, generating momentum demands significant physical and psychological effort as you push against resistance. As with each of the chapters in Open When..., Dr Smith provides her readers with Real-time tools, mechanisms one can put in place when faced with that resistance. Amongst these are listing the barriers and obstacles that may prevent success and then working on ways to mitigate those risks. When I read that part of the chapter, I said to myself, "It's you, you're the resistance". In the age-old idiomatic sense, I am my own worst enemy.
But, there's hope. There is always hope.
And while hope is always good to have, no amount of hoping is going to get me onto a treadmill. I need tools to get me off the couch or bed and into the gym. Dr Smith cautions that resisting a long-standing bad habit requires significant cognitive effort. A change in mindset, as well as changes in other habits.
"Exercise, nutrition and sleep will amplify your willpower. Without getting these core ingredients right, everything else will feel more difficult. We don't have to get it perfect, but we ignore them at our peril. If you can do one thing today to improve on one of those, you are heading in the right direction and making the whole thing easier for yourself."
I've pretty much nailed my sleeping patterns, and for the last few months, I have had the best sleep of my life. That leaves me with exercise and nutrition - both of which need a serious overhaul. Dr Smith writes about connecting with one's future self. I'm not an inherently bad person, but I recognise elements of myself that I'd like to change. I know for sure that there are things I'd like to leave behind. When I look toward a future version of myself, she is whole on the levels that matter to me - the synergistic version my Dad spoke about when he told me that wellness is a combination of body, mind and soul. My future self deserves effort from the present me.
Coming Up Next Week
I'll get stuck into Dr Wendy Suzuki's Healthy Brain, Happy Life. As with all of these books, I can't wait.